5.5 Making Healthy Families

Just being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee happiness. We’ve all seen examples of bad relationships: think Cinderella and her stepsisters, loveless marriages, or friendships filled with constant disagreements (which even led to the term “frenemy”). For a relationship to bring happiness, it needs to be a good one. Studies have shown that having high-quality friendships is linked to increased happiness (Demir and Weitekamp 2007). But it’s not just friendships that matter. Research suggests that having strong, positive relationships with parents as teenagers (Gohm et al. 1998) and as adults (Amato and Afifi 2006) can also boost happiness. Moreover, researchers have found that good relationships affect different aspects of well-being. Walen and Luchman (2000) looked at various relationships, like family, friends, and romantic partners, and found that both support and conflict in these relationships are linked to overall well-being, including life satisfaction and positive and negative feelings. Similarly, a study comparing college students from different countries found that social support was associated with greater life satisfaction and positive feelings, as well as lower negative feelings (Brannan et al. 2012).

It might seem obvious that good relationships lead to more happiness. But did you know they can also improve your health? Surprisingly, both the quality and quantity of your social connections can impact your health (Cohen 1988; House et al. 1988). Research suggests that having a larger social circle and strong relationships can be good for your health, while having few friends or poor-quality relationships can actually harm your health (Uchino 2006). One reason for this might be that friends and partners often share healthy habits, like exercising or avoiding excessive drinking. Plus, having social support can lower stress levels, which is linked to many health issues.

To help make your family happier, here are some simple strategies:

1. Teach morality – Helping kids understand what’s right and wrong can make everyone feel better (Damon 2004).
2. Celebrate successes – When someone in your family achieves something, take the time to celebrate it together (Gable et al. 2006).
3. Lean on extended family – Besides parents, older siblings, grandparents, and other family members can all pitch in to help and make your family happier (Armstrong et al. 2005).
4. Build family bonds – Share jokes, remember good times, and talk about your family history to strengthen your connections (McAdams 1993).
5. Forgive – When someone in your family makes a mistake, try to forgive them instead of holding onto anger (McCullough et al. 1997).

_{“Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness” by TED is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0}